Open your ears wide: while you were watching TV, we watched you a bit through the window, discreetly of course, and we noted some relevant elements that allowed us to establish different types of personalities according to the programs. where you spent the most time (without falling asleep). Naaaaan, but don’t stress, we also looked at the stuff you do at the beach and what that means about you, it’s purely scientific, we tell you.
1. Apartment hunters
You’ve been working in a freelance start-up for six months, but you’re still too poor to become an owner. However, you think “investing in stone”, as the pros say, will make you immensely rich, so, to anticipate your next purchase of a studio in the city center of Dijon, you watch Chasseurs d’apart in order to to know all the intricacies of real estate. You’re such a fan of Stéphane Plaza that you had a “Double basin” tattooed on your elbow during a business school evening and even the things that annoy us the most in the program Chasseurs d’apart te pass above.
2. Everyone wants to take their place
You are very smart and you like to let it be known. You’re the type of person to say, “Oh yeah, haven’t you read the latest Dostoyevsky? But it’s a classic nonetheless! “. You passed the castings of the show, but you were not selected because you harassed the prod to know if you had been taken. It’s a shame because you had trained by playing the online game. You also try to raise your children to your intellectual level, which is why each start of the school year, you go to see the teacher to blow up a class for your brats by threatening to homeschool her if she refuses. But you never will because you haven’t had time to revise the geology yet.
You are someone with blood that tends to scare everyone around you. You define yourself by saying that you have “a strong character, we accept you like that or we leave you”. When you leave your house, people lower their eyes so as not to meet your gaze and in the evening, people rarely come to talk to you because they are afraid that you will spill a glass of beer in their head. You know how to break ice cubes with your head and chop wood with your hands. You’ve been single for quite a while and frankly, we’re not too surprised.
4. Dancing with the stars
You have a passion for gossip and celebrity stories. When you go out in the evening, you go there to see drama, crying spells, deceptions and people who are going all out. You know by heart and in order of appearance the exes of Britney Spears and you are able to name all the future heirs to the English crown. In high school, you once started a rumor about people you hated to see if there was a small grain of truth. You always say “Who am I to judge?” after judging.
You are a very materialistic person. You change your vacuum cleaner as soon as yours bag is full and you order office chairs by the hundreds while you work lying in bed. You know all the references of the fridges in the appliance store and you can name in your head the towns with an Ikea in France. Your superficiality is matched only by the number of pairs of sunglasses you own while living in Dunkirk.
6. Top Chef
You are a very generous person with a pronounced taste for sharing. For you, friendship rhymes with giving generously, which is why as soon as you receive people at your house, you give them checks for €10 and little bundles of chocolate truffles that you made yourself. You only eat raclettes, fondues, pasta gratins and other family dishes, and sometimes you cry when you have to fall asleep alone in your bed.
7. It starts today
You’re just retired and since you don’t have any grandchildren yet, you spend a lot of time with Faustine Bollaert. You consider her a bit like the sister you never had. People often say that you are too sensitive, which you totally deny, even if you cry as soon as someone tells a somewhat sad story, like the time they had to throw in the towel that was already ten months old. You signed up for a workshop to talk about philosophy with kindergartens and you practice Nordic walking with your girlfriends on Saturday mornings.
8. Bring in the accused
You have misplaced curiosity and an unspoken passion for creepy stuff. You hide behind a desire to deepen your general knowledge to spend a little too much time watching stories of very funny facts. You know the details of Chevaline’s killing inside out and you have strong suspicions about the culprit in the Petit Grégory affair. You secretly hope that one day, the FBI will come to you to offer you to become a profiler and touch 86,000 net balls per month.
9. Numbers and letters
You are an old person, a very old person. You never forget to take your sudokus and crossword puzzles with you when you go on vacation. You wear your glasses on the tip of your nose and you type on your phone with your index finger. Besides, your phone ringtone is at maximum level so that you can hear it. In front of Numbers and Letters, you put yourself very comfortably under your heated duvet with your slippers and your little herbal tea, before falling asleep snoring after 15 minutes of emission.
10. The Marseillais
You are 15 years old and you watch this show to “laugh”, although you know if Océane and Bebew will participate in the next season. You have already looked at the price of this “detox slimming tea” and this “Shampoo – Grows in 10 minutes” just to know. Have you ever released an “Ayo les fratés” and a “Les problèèèèèmes” in the middle of an oral on plate tectonics? You were there for the guy in Milla and the Benjamin-Alix-Océane clash, one of the worst confusions of the Marseillais. But don’t worry, you’re not at all thoroughly, pff anything, you can stop whenever you want!
11. Secrets of History
You are a history-geography teacher at Albert Camus College in Vierzon. You know the Carolingian family by heart and the coastlines hold no secrets for you. Your Sunday evenings, after correcting double copies that are tasteless and full of mistakes, you like to sit on your velvet sofa to listen to Stéphane Bern and see if he’s talking nonsense on TV. Anyway, you don’t have to do anything else because your kids don’t want to play Trivial Pursuit with you anymore since you win all the time.
12. Generation Hit Machine
You live in permanent nostalgia. You burst into tears as soon as you hear a song from the 90s and you complain every month to the supermarket in your town to get the Froot Loops back on the shelves. Your bedroom is covered in Spice Girls posters and you use your walkman to listen to music. Listen, we don’t want to rush you but it might be time to pick up, don’t you think? You’re not going to be able to watch Friends all your life…