Even though there are very nice dentists, going to have your gums sanded is generally not a cakewalk. We take a lot of scaling, we want to die when he discovers a cavity and we pray never to come back when he makes us go to the checkout. But if only that was all! No no ! Your dentist can also blackmail you by threatening to reveal your darkest secrets, because there are many things he can discover about you without you even telling him and that, just by looking at your oral cavity. You can’t do anything against him, sorry.
1. Your dentist can tell if you’re pregnant without you telling them.
Well ok, if you show up at eight months pregnant in his office, there is a good chance that he will say that you are pregnant without asking you to open your mouth. Otherwise, he will be able to know if you have gingivitis, an inflammation of the gums very common in pregnant women due to the increase in progesterone in the body. So, when is this little piece due?
2. He can know if you’ve had a blowjob in the last few months
If you practiced oral sex a few days before your appointment with the dentist (you do well as you want, who are we to judge?), know that it is your own palate that will betray you. Indeed, if the pipe was a little violent, there is a chance that you have a “velo-palatine purpura”, that is to say a red lesion in this place. This “vigorous fellatio syndrome” (I’m not making this up) is due to the repeated rubbing of the cock against the palate. In general, it disappears in about ten days if you do not play with popol repeatedly. Because it’s really that among the sentences you don’t want to hear at the dentist, you can add “So, did we have fun last night??? “.
3. Your dentist can tell if you’ve had cunnilingus recently.
Not jealous ! The “cunnilingus syndrome” also exists and results in a small inflammation of the brake located under the tongue (not to be confused with a mouth ulcer or a disease such as syphilis). This ulceration is caused by the repetitive movement of the tongue going in and out of the mouth and which, in passing, rubs against the incisors, damaging the brake. Do not panic, again, it disappears between 7 to 10 days. Otherwise, your dentist will know that you appreciate the joys of a good cunnilingus.
4. Your dentist can tell if you bite your nails
If your teeth are a little irregular and you have jaw pain, look no further: your dentist will tell you right away that you bite your nails even if he hasn’t looked at your beautiful little chubby hands. Yes, because this gesture causes, among other things, mini cracks in the enamel that damage and wear out the teeth in the long run, which can lead to tooth displacement and joint pain in the jaw. All that for 5 minutes of chewing nail clippings, great!
5. He can tell if you smoke, drink or use drugs.
It all depends on what you consume, but in the case of tobacco and alcohol, it will mainly be seen by cavities, periodontal problems (gums, etc.) or cancerous lesions. The smoker’s teeth are also recognizable by their slightly yellowed appearance and by dark tartar on the back of the teeth (too yum). The consumption of cannabis, it, will be seen rather by a loss of saliva (xerostomia) while the taking of amphetamines is identifiable with the filed, short teeth, because of bruxism (the grinding of the teeth). For crack and coke, it is especially the big black spots that give a good clue.
6. He can know if you only brush your teeth well when you come to his office.
Yes, unfortunately, you won’t be able to fool him for long with your ten-minute teeth brushing right before you show up at his office. Because if at the slightest gesture, your gums begin to bleed, he will know that you have, basically, oral hygiene that leaves something to be desired and that you do not use your toothbrush enough. Conversely, pink gums, all dashing are the sign that you take good care of your teeth. Come on, go wash it all off, and quickly!
7. Your dentist can tell if you sucked your thumb as a child.
AH THE BIG BABY WHO SUCKS HIS THUMB, BOUUUUUH, BIG BABY, BIG BABY! This is what your dentist will think when he discovers your misaligned teeth and your deformed jaw (which may have influenced the way you speak) by your sucked thumb after your six years. Fortunately, the alignment of the teeth can easily be corrected with orthodontics (you even know if you had braces because of your thumb). But if you’re still sucking it at 30, that’s a good reason to stop. And if you don’t, we put your comforters in the closet, ok??
8. He can tell if you have oral cancer.
Okay, maybe it has to do with the fact that he’s done years of medical school. But still, unlike you, he will know that unexplained bleeding, swelling, changes in the fit of his teeth, or white, red, or speckled spots in the mouth are symptoms of potential cancer. So, by detecting it early enough, it will save you a lot of problems as you can imagine. THANK YOU, MONCHIEUR LE DENTICHTE!
9. Your dentist can tell if you’re making yourself vomit (and also if you’re drinking a lot of Coke)
Both Coke and vomit have chemical properties linked to their acidity which attack the teeth. If the Coke will smash all the teeth over their entire surface, it is more localized as part of the vomit. It is thus only the rear surfaces of the upper teeth that will be damaged by erosion, because of the propulsion of the liquid which acidifies the enamel and dissolves it. And bon appetit above all.