Gen Z misses out on so many things… iPods, tamagochis, Hubbas Bubbas, Skyrock CD playlists, but above all: posters. These despicable things that we all used to “decorate” our room. The days when bad taste was a stylish thing. With hindsight… It was not phew. Really not phew. What are the most shameful stuff that you have hung on your wall, you? We, that’s it.
1. Les Backstreet boys
French equivalent : the 2 be 3, Alliage, the G Squad or the Linkup.
Topito analysis : you wore colorful bandanas under your cap, and you pissed off your parents for weeks when they refused to sign a waiver so you could get your dream tiger tattooed on your back. We thank them.
2. Bob Marley
Topito analysis : you never really listened, but you wanted to show a minimum of rebellion by associating reggae music with high. When you never shot anything. Little mytho, go.
3. Avril Lavigne
Topito analysis : you were a misunderstood rebel who colored your hair with a pink marker in French class. Your flagship accessory? Fishnet mittens. Trow sw@Aaggg!
4. Tokyo Hotel
Topito analysis : you were a fucking groupie. You had everything in the image of your favorite group. The poster above your bed was full size. You wrote “Bill x3” on every page of your diary. And your notebooks. On your table. Your bed. Your toilet bowl. Scary.
5. The One Directions
Topito analysis : you were exactly the same as the person above, but Gen Z version. Silly Care Bear version who wears rhinestone tops.
6. Kyo (ou BB Brunes)
Topito analysis : you were a skinned teenager who immersed himself in the music and the eyes of his favorite singer to forget that life is a female dog and that you can’t go to Léa’s boom on Friday.
7. Britney Spears (or her French equivalent: Lorie)
Topito analysis : Britney side, you’re such a queeeeen baby. On the Lorie side, you’re such a 12-year-old prepubescent teenager who wears heart covers. Two rooms, two atmospheres, but two beautiful blondes that we idolized. They are so pretty, right?
8. Justin Bieber
French equivalent from the 2000s: Matt Pokora
Topito analysis : tro bo les make ac the wicks come ssa :$
9. Les Spices Girls
French equivalent : the L5
Topito analysis : you were a popular girl who liked to sing wanabee with her girlfriends on Wednesday afternoons. It was the only song you knew, but it was enough to have a 2mx2m poster on your wall, actually.
10. High School Musical ou Camp Rock
Topito analysis : you walked in the corridors of the college, headphones of your portable CD player in your ears, imagining everyone starting to dance around you. You were obviously in love with Troy Bolton or Gabrielle Montez. We understand you. We are always in love here. On the Camp Rock side, you liked the cheap version of HSM. We don’t judge you, but we don’t understand you.
Topito analysis : you would certainly have liked to be bitten by a vampire to live the same life as Bella. Too stupid. A vampire is not that, in fact. A vampire drinks your blood and you die. I have to tell you everything.
12. Hannah Montana
Topito analysis : Disney Chanel babyyyyyyy (to be said in a high-pitched, slightly silly voice). You still haven’t gotten over Miley licking microphones and walking around naked. The contrast is strong enough, I grant you.
Alternative Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Topito analysis : you always annoy everyone with your key lines. Like… “The power of three will set us free. », « We all need to believe that magic exists. or “Love is magic between two people that cannot be explained or invoked. “. We have to move on.
14. Orlando Blum or Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean
Topito analysis : Too good to be true.
Topito analysis : really too good to be true.
15. Brad Pitt, of course
Topito analysis : BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, I LOVE YOU. MARRY ME.
16. Un “Keep calm and carry on”
Topito analysis : because thank you for the roses, thank you for the thorns, life is not a long calm river, but make your life a dream and your dream a reality, because after the rain comes the sun. Deep.
17. Un poster so british
Topito analysis : London city, trop styleyyyy. Like New York, en fait. Building mood. Love it. Share it. Colorful. Where is Bryan ?
18. Motorcycles and/or bass drums
Topito analysis : Bulk testosterone, mate. First hair you know where. The life of a great, go pécho as jajaaaa.
Or : Ronaldo, Messi et Maradona
Topito analysis : it’s not your fault. Your father was already a fan, and just passed on his passion to you. According to rumors, your name is Théo but your parents have always nicknamed you Zizou. You were born with a beer in your hand, lying on a sofa, with three friends singing “GO LES BLEUS, WE ARE ALL TOGETHEREEEEEEEEE”. If the devil has a face (or rather, a head), for you, it’s Materazzi’s, that big **** of **** of **** with his **** of **** *.
20. Your favorite football team
Topito analysis : Too bad that out of all the teams that exist, you chose this one. You are categorized as a fat redneck in France, especially since your “white and turquoise blue” themed wedding.
Topito analysis : JOOOOOOOHN CENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !
Topito analysis : you just grew up with your generation, normally, enjoying the finer things in life. It’s crazy, at 30, to still be able to cry in front of a Herbizarre card. It’s almost beautiful. It freaks me out.
23. Dolphins or horses
Topito analysis : you moved only by imitating the trot or the gallop. You had a special blog for “little thunder”, in which you shamelessly recounted your friendly human-horse relationship. He was your best friend, but above all… Your only friend. You pissed everyone off.
Topito analysis : the least original favorite animal on earth. A teenager borring to perfection.
24. Star Ac’ posters
Topito analysis : feeeeeeel the loooove generatioooooon TA TA TATA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA
La thug life
25. Un poster Jack Daniel’s
Topito analysis : your mantra: smoke, tizer, fuck. Calm down Kevin and eat your soup, it’ll be fine.
26. The Che Guevara
Topito analysis : you still don’t know who he is, even if you had a satchel, pins and a t-shirt with his image.
27. Un “Keep Calm and smoke weed”
Topito analysis : Because smoke before life smokes you, actually.
28. Just a big leaf of weed
Topito analysis : you are a person who goes straight to the point. And who wants above all to pass for an anti-system rebel. Not so simple as that, like no one…
Topito analysis : “eh, eh, friends, eh, listen to me: BREASTS! Bouarhahahahahahahahaha. Eh eh eh: TITS. Huuuuuuuh testosterone and acne madness »
30. Poor man’s posters, torn magazine pages to cover your lousy tapestry
Topito analysis : Don’t worry, it was pretty. A little. End… It was fine. When you ripped it off cleanly. Or that you cover up the messed up parts with other images. And that… No, it wasn’t phew. Sorry.
31. Bonus: the empty wall, so as not to fuck the new tapestry
Topito analysis : KEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, NO PATAFIX ON YOUR NEW WALL!