If you’ve never been on Knock-knock (as 75% of people over 45 say), know that no one will blame you. Yes, you miss funny TikTok comments but you also escape the worst TikTok fads and creepy videos that haunt us for days afterwards. A chance, the twitter account @wildtiktokss collects for us the worst moments of TikTok, because it’s always better to know why it’s good not to go. I saw, you will see.
1. When our respective parents divorced, so technically she’s no longer my half-sister
2. My sister told my daronne that she had an eating disorder and my mother bought her this t-shirt: “Food is our best friend”
3. When I was kicked out of college for selling used sanitary pads saying they were “vintage pads” and causing everyone urinary tract infections
4. We’ll see if the butt plug I’m wearing, containing my dead boyfriend’s ashes, will pass through airport security.
5. It’s a bit polyamorous to yell at your partner when he/she cheats on you
6. When I mistakenly sent my nudes for my English homework and my teacher gave me 24/100
7. In 2018, I ghosted a girl and she commented my phone number under every One Direction member’s post saying, “Harry Styles’ number leaked.” I had to change my phone number three times
8. Recalling when my 40-year-old co-worker told me he thought a teenager was seriously hot and after telling her it was illegal, he really said, “Yeah. are you telling me that when you go to the restaurant, you don’t look at the children’s menu?”
9. Me writing in lowercase letters to my crush because she is against capitalism (I have no idea what that is)
10. I don’t remember that Bob Razowski from Monsters Inc. had a PE teacher who threatened to date him if he didn’t do his exercises well.
11. When it’s a 10 but he accidentally got my mom pregnant when I wasn’t there and they’re keeping it, so now I don’t know if it’s my boyfriend or my stepdad
12. When I was in middle school, my crush liked a picture of influencer Sommer Ray, so I printed out all of her Insta pics and cut out all of her eyes to stick on my wall.
13. He doesn’t know that today is his last day with balls
14. I have cancer / I’m Cancer too, it rocks / Did someone really just say “I’m Cancer too, it rocks” ???
15. I just got kicked out of the church for yelling “fuck you” don’t get it?? I thought we hated that son of a bitch??
16. Drinking oil is a bad habit.
17. Tribute to my elementary school friend who I challenged to drink the whole bottle of Zopidem [un somnifère] of my parents and who was hospitalized before dying
18. Me turning my underwear inside out so they’re clean for another month.
19. Sometimes I call the numbers on the posters of missing children and shout “Mom, please help me!”
20. When it’s a 10 but he has a crush on my mom and every time he comes home he tries to kiss her while my dad is in the room
TikTok, on the clock, but the party don’t stop noooooooo, oh ouoh ouah owh !