Top 20 techniques to pollute even more than the World Cup in Qatar (we will get there)

You are surely aware that the 2022 Football World Cup will take place in Qatar next November and December and that it is already an ecological disaster. Between the air conditioning of open-air stadiums and the 160 planes a day that will shuttle between Qatar (a super nice country) and neighboring countries to allow spectators to see a maximum of matches, we have not got out of the warming climatic. So damn for damn, might as well play the game thoroughly and make sure to create a maximum of pollution with these few tricks. And knock, in your face the Qataris, who are the strongest now?

1. Create a giant convoy on the Paris ring road and let the engines run for a whole week

Call all your SUV-owning buddies and tell them they’re finally going to have a good reason to rock their big rig.

2. Use all our waste to try to break the record for the highest peak in Europe, held by Mont-Blanc

If we do this hand in hand and close the recycling plants, I’m sure we can get there before the start of the World Cup.

3. Build swimming pools in every garden in the country

It doesn’t matter if there isn’t enough water to fill them, we’ll dig into the groundwater, no one knows what it’s for anyway.

4. Place Shein orders every day

Ideally, if you can place an order for only one item of clothing at a time, you won’t be able to make the delivery costs and the kerosene spent on the trip profitable.

5. Refund your 10,000 Shein orders and return every package

Ah bah yes now we have to go to the end of the project, we will not stop in such a good way.

6. Spamming your colleagues with emails every 10 minutes

Ideally then make sure they NEVER sort through their inbox. Every milligram of Co2 counts to achieve our goals.

7. Come to work by Uber and have Deliveroo delivered to you at every meal

Otherwise, buy an electric scooter with a good lithium battery for your whole family and even use it to go to the toilet.

8. Open ski resorts 24 hours a day in summer thanks to artificial snow

We did it well for the 2022 Beijing Olympics, it must be adaptable to Courchevel, right?

9. Take the plane to see your parents in Paimpol on the weekend

You will finally be able to keep your good resolution to spend more time with them. Thank you pollution!

10. Turn on all patio heaters to heat cities this winter

Because frankly, going from 35°C to 12°C in a week is not cool, so we deserve a little heat.

11. Leave nuclear waste out in the open to see what it feels like

It must not be so terrible if we already put one everywhere underground, right??

12. Reopen coal-fired power plants and put all Greenpeace activists in jail

Apparently, we’ve been lacking energy lately, so I’m finding ready-made solutions for you. But don’t say thank you especially huh!

13. Leave wifi and lights on when you leave

There are no small actions in this fight for the explosion of the planet.

14. Eat pork chop and Moroccan oranges for breakfast, chicken drumsticks and Kenyan beans for lunch, and Norwegian salmon with Peruvian avocados for dinner

Ah well yes, it’s an investment, but when you have convictions, you have to be ready to commit and shake up your daily life.

15. Collect cigarette butts in public ashtrays and throw them into the sea

You can also go to the smoking rooms of the bars and on the beaches of Nice to speed up the collection, the more we will be in depth, the more things will move.

16. Going on vacation with the taps on and the heating on, especially in the summer

Better to go to Bali with peace of mind!

17. Not wearing a turtleneck and turning up the heating to 25°C all winter to walk around your apartment in a bathing suit.

Otherwise, you can also run the air conditioning and heating at the same time (it cancels out and it’s good).

18. Bury used batteries in the forest

But hurry because I asked to have Fontainebleau and Brocéliande razed to start an oil palm plantation.

19. Dry all your food with a hair dryer

Yes, you have to give your time for the cause, but it’s so important!

20. Print Excel tables (those that are infinite)

And if Excel spreadsheets are your phobia, you can always create a million-page color Word document and start printing.

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