I don’t want to screw up the atmosphere too much, but we all age, all the time. There, now, you’re aging, by definition it’s even the only thing you do all the time (even breathing sometimes stops you, whereas aging doesn’t). So now that we’ve remembered all that, it’s important to talk about a milestone that you’ve passed / are going to pass / are in the process of passing: that of your thirties. A lot of things happen in our body after 30 years, more or less positive things moreover, but besides that there are a lot of little things that become reluctant at this age and I suggest you see some of them -ones. At least you will be prepared.
1. Bullshit fashions
When you turn 30 you realize that a lot of little fashions and trends to which you attached importance were frankly futile and rotten. It’s probably the fact of realizing that fashions pass as quickly as they arrive that helps to say that it was really shit and we attach less importance to it over time. We may become dumb in the end.
2. Sleep with friends
Ah, the evenings when we ended up on our friends’ couch, got up and played games while having a beer and talking bullshit, those were the good times. But no, after thirty years if you have to walk eight kilometers to sleep in your bed and wake up at home, it’s no longer an obstacle at all.
3. Having a hangover
When you are in your twenties you quickly get back in the saddle, you get back on your feet in one night and a very fatty meal before continuing on to an evening. After thirty years we go out until 11 p.m. and we drink a cocktail that will take us two weeks to recover.
4. Sleeping too short
At twenty we go out all the time, we chain series and films until no time and that poses no problem since we have a resistance to sleep close to that of a cocaine addict. And then come those famous moments when you fall asleep in front of your series before 10 p.m. and you don’t understand why you’re slammed after an eight-hour night.
5. Holidays with friends
So be careful, it’s not so much that holidays with friends become boring after 30 years, it’s holidays with friends WHO HAVE KIDS anxiety. You have to live it once to understand, it breaks your friendships these little crap there.
6. Festival camping
Haha, waking up with your head in your ass completely dried out by the sun without being able to take a good shower after having slept for two hours since the neighboring tents were partying until 9am was funny twice. There it is more the sentence, one gave, place to the young people.
7. Make a false plan at the last moment
This friend who says to you “yeah finally I’m staying at home, we’ll go out tomorrow instead” at twenty years old, there’s not too much to worry about, we go out every night anyway. But at thirty, fuck him, I asked for a morning on purpose, I organized everything for two weeks to take advantage of this damn evening and it doesn’t make plans at the last moment? Slut.
I know I’m not alone, I know that after the thirties there is something that happens in the body and that a lot of people share it: the discomfort of noise. If when you’re young you can enjoy very noisy places to party, it comes very quickly to tickle you when you get older and it makes you want to burst the face of the DJ who only plays shit and does not only pick up the saturation is pleasant for anyone.
9. Slamming half his pay in one night
Yeah, it’s not too possible in fact, there is a little thing called responsibility and which happens when you have been stupid two or three times too many. Generally, we don’t get caught up in the famous game of “oh damn, did I break out that much in an old rotten nightclub in one evening?” And how is it that I have no memory of going clubbing elsewhere? »
10. Caring about the eyes of others
For some people, what other people think is essential, that’s necessarily how it should be done and they are right if they criticize them. But go fuck your ass with your opinions of people who meddle in what doesn’t concern them and who judge me because I drink vodka-yop. My life, my liver actually.
11. Les afters
“Okay, so your plan is to go to an apartment from 7:30 in the morning until 2:00 and watch people dance because they’ve taken way too many drugs while undergoing bad techno?” Son, I’ve been in soft since midnight to take over the cash register, I’m going to bed. »
Student life is cool when you’re young, having gone through a retraining and found myself in a school with people who were ten years younger than me, I can assure you that it’s not at all funny when the other students think half the time that you are the teacher.
13. Try to keep the vocabulary trendy
I pick up R to what you say, is it to kill me? Yeah, I’m still trying to understand how young people speak, but it’s been over since the day two kids called me “sir” and addressed me in the street. Worst blow of old imaginable. In the meantime I revise with the expressions of Gen Z to know.
14. Do really stupid things to make others laugh
Stealing a construction plot, a street sign, doing completely stupid pranks in the evening at the expense of others… it’s nothing cool in fact, if you laugh at someone but not with him or if you do something that might piss someone off that’s not funny. (gosh, I’m a great philosopher today. Or sucks, it depends on the point of view).
15. Pee less than 15 times a day
Pissing is life, after 30 years we begin to savor these moments which spread over the day and multiply. What a pleasure to become old.