I know it’s wrong to put people in boxes, but let’s stop pretending and let’s face it: we are not all born with the same intellectual capacity, after all. Let’s call a spade a spade, there’s still a good swarm of morons around us! Nope ? You can not find ? I don’t want to alert you, but it may be that the teubé… It’s you! Only one way to be sure: check out this list of things only idiots do. If you recognize yourself, bah… You are not the penguin who slips the farthest from the ice floe.
1. Buying crap (cc, the “burnt hair” scent)
After the farts in jars, the bath water of influencers, the rock farts and a whole bunch of very stupid stuff that brought in a lot (too much) money, now the teubés are throwing themselves in their thousands on the latest perfume of ‘Elon Musk, christened ‘Burnt Hair’. As its name suggests so well, the bottle (at 103 bullets, by the way) smells of burnt hair. In less than 24 hours, it has already made more than 10,000 sales. Aberrant.
2. Empty your tank to find gas
Here, I’m out of gas. If I was going to put some more, in full shortage? Here we go ! Olalalala, there is no more gas in the stations. What if I kept turning around for hours to find some? Here we go ! Ohhhh, a station, I’ll be able to put 20 euros maximum, great! Let’s go home, with less gasoline than when we left. Here we go !
3. Brush your teeth before drinking coffee
Hmmmm but what a great idea! Something to alter the taste, however divine, of your drink, and stink right after. You’re nice, but surely not the sharpest knife in the drawer, you.
4. Check PQ quantity after commission done
And reliving, again and again, that embarrassing moment… Even more embarrassing when it’s in the middle of a working day… Courage, it’s just a bad moment to pass. A VERY bad moment even. Everything would have been so much easier if you had just checked the condition of the roller before taking your seat…
5. Follow the precepts of a bad 2000 year old SF book to guide your life
I didn’t understand the story. Really, the chapters go from rooster to donkey, without explanation. There’s a girl who gets pregnant without zig-zig, a gentleman with long hair who heals people by touching them, and three kings who cross the desert to bring incense to a toddler. As if babies crave incense at birth. Nothing captured in concept.
6. Have a salad at McDonald’s
Would you buy a beer in a tobacco shop? Well no, because it has nothing to do with it. It’s the same there. McDo, either we understand the concept and we’re going to blow our stomachs with pounds of saturated fat, or we don’t.
7. Shower in the morning
And go to bed at night with all the miasma recovered during the day, stuck to the skin. Yum, nice, the head of your sheets! Honestly, if it’s to do that, stop washing yourself, huh. You really don’t have to be smart.
8. Walk in socks in the bathroom
Soak your feet. Yell. Change socks. And start over. Try to learn from your mistakes.
9. Watch reality TV shows
“To clear your head”. Excuse me a little, but if you need that to clear your head, it must not be very full, basic.
10. Wasting an hour looking for a movie on Netflix
While you could have spent that hour watching the movie you finally planned to watch after an hour of research. Exhausting.
11. Spending thousands of dollars on a painting
While a canvas, a brush and three pots of color cost a maximum of 10 balls at Action. The idiot doesn’t hesitate to throw his money out the window, obviously…
12. Buy Balenciaga clothes
In the category of those who are dumb enough to spend a fortune on something easy to do at home: buyers of weird Balenciaga creations. Honestly, you go to any supermarket, you buy a roll of 2 euro bin bags, you make 5 holes (Two for the arms, two for the legs, one for the head), you put that on, and the it’s done!
13. Watch the same movie 4 times
I don’t want to destroy your balance, but… Bah, there’s not going to be any reversal of the situation from one viewing to the next. It’s a film, so once it’s shot, it doesn’t move. Whether you watch it once or 14, Forest Gump’s mother and wife will always eventually die and leave him alone with his son. Sorry to have to explain it to you.
14. Read books
= Spending 8 hours of your time reading a story, while a movie summed it up perfectly in 1 hour 30 minutes. Must not have invented hot water.
15. Come cry under this post
“EuuUUh Topito ouiiiiin ouinnnnn zealous beast or koi???? It’s not SF, it’s the bible!!! Pffff cé vou the morons » . I love you, the 1st degree team. I love you so much. Would not change a thing.