Forget the signs of the zodiac: astrology is a cult and will do you no good. Instead, if you want to know your personality, we offer you a real language-based analysis. By deciphering your language tics, these useless expressions that you use too often, we were able to draw a portrait of your true inner “you”. It’s disconcertingly true.
You were terribly lacking in love in your childhood, so you are constantly looking for a brotherly figure to support you on a daily basis.
Are you questioning your own gender identity: male, female, non-binary, catfish? The important thing is that you feel good about yourself.
3. “Did you get it?”
You are an advisor at SFR.
4. “For real”
You are the messiah. At 40, you will found your own religion whose supreme god will be a cedar-scented candle.
You have an unhealthy passion for cracking bones and you see your ostheo more often than your boyfriend or your girl
6. “I confess”
You killed several people a few years ago, the police never found you, but you really feel guilty. And then, you have to admit that you are above all a millennial stuck in 2008 when the expression “I confess” was in fashion.
You love gossip and drama a little too much, and your biggest dream would be to join the cast of Marseilles. Your stage name would be Wendy (pronounced Wendji) or Jordan.
You are in permanent indecision. Choosing the t-shirt you’re going to wear in the morning takes you about 2 hours, and once you even got stuck in front of a coffee machine for 5 hours wondering if you weren’t going to try the soup à la tomato. You have to overcome your fears.
9. “And Fashion”
You’re a fashion victim, but beware, that doesn’t mean you dress well, no. It means you buy a lot of shit on Vinted that doesn’t suit you at all. The biggest victims are your look and your bank account.
Whether or not you come from Hauts-de-France, deep inside you are a Ch’ti. Your main values are good humor, maroilles and beer.
11. “You know”
You have always dreamed of being a teacher to teach people things, but you are allergic to chalk as well as to books and children. As a result, you preferred to engage in a career as a room driver for Jean-Luc Reichmann’s broadcasts.
You are jaded with life. So indifferent to everything that the birth of your own child did nothing to you. After he was born, all you wanted to do was eat a big fat kebab and move on. We understand you.
13. “At the same time”
You are President of the Republic. And nobody knows, but you have nipple piercings and a tattoo “I love anchovy pizza” on the left buttock. It’s your little secret garden and we respect it.
14. “It’s Clear”
You are a very photosensitive person, the light hurts your head. It may have something to do with the fact that you spent all your school holidays playing Play from your 8 to 18 years old. Today, you have become a little more responsible person, but the slightest ray of sunshine can make your nose bleed.
You are an optician and you practice a promotion on the second pair of glasses for a first pair of glasses purchased. You are a nice person.