When you cook and you eat, it’s like driving, you shouldn’t do anything (like driving in the wrong direction or making Y turns on the highway, you’ll know). Because then you end up with people who deserve death when they eat and that creates imbalances in society. So if you don’t want to be run over with a canteen cart for disrespecting everyone, here’s the official list of foods to never mix again.
1. Pasta with ketchup
Pasta with mayonnaise, we can still accept. But pasta with ketchup, it’s not. Already the pasta with sugar, we have trouble, but if we have to add tomato juice on top, we refuse.
2. Butter bread – Nutella
Already, we are on cholesterol by the spoonful. But I would even say that there is even worse: people who make croissant-Nutella. Just writing it makes me want to put my elbows on breadcrumbs.
3. Coffee rillettes
I would like to meet the person who launched this fashion, I have two words to say to him. In particular “Go die”.
4. Mint and chocolate
A study has shown that people who eat chocolate-mint ice cream and other confectionery of this type have Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès blood in their veins.
5. Camembert and Danette
But hell, respect your national heritage right?? Aren’t you ashamed to shit on generations like that???
6. Bolognese pizza
An insult to Italian culture, and I speak with 0% Italian genes in the body. Believe me, those who read us got angry for less than that.
7. Fishing and tuna
Sorry Belgians, far be it from me to criticize your gastronomy, but admit that you make us dream more with your double-cooked fries and your crispy waffles than with your tuna which is bathed in canned fish.
8. Cinnamon and chocolate
No, really, you have to stop using cinnamon as soon as you make hot chocolate or cookies, it completely ruins the taste and above all, it’s 100% unoriginal. Stop the carnage, together we can do it, it’s just a matter of willpower.
9. Cereals and orange juice
A youthful mistake that can be made twice, but not three. After 10 years, it’s straight to prison.
10. Plain yogurt and compote
After a while, the world can’t suffer the consequences of your indecision: do you want a compote or a natural yoghurt?? CHOOSE!
11. Champagne and orange juice
So yes, I know “mimosas” are very popular in the United Kingdom and across the Atlantic, but if we didn’t import that into France, it’s simply because this cocktail really gives the impression of drinking Joker carbonated (or gone for 25 years) and because we know how to honor champagne by refusing to create any connection with people who think it’s normal to mix it with a breakfast drink.
12. Pear and chocolate
Worst association ever, and I am weighing my words. When are you going to understand that the pear will never be more loved because the chocolate goes up the level?? Do not mix garbage bags and small wicker baskets.
13. Apple King Cake
We will start by agreeing that the brioche galette is a thousand times better than the frangipane galette which crumbles everywhere. But it is especially true because of the apple which is screwed up in many pancakes, spoiling their potential forever. Why are you doing this?
14. French fries and vinegar
An association that deserves to die suffocated by its saliva (vinegar taste).
15. Cilantro and any food
In any case, if you want to go on a drastic diet based on the absence of nutrition, put cilantro in all your dishes. It will ruin the taste of all foods and so you won’t want to eat anything and you will lose 50 kilos (and your life) in a few weeks.