Top 15 best @simoncholland tweets, best dad stories

We love dad jokes but it’s even funnier when it’s young fathers who discover the hassle of life with young children. With the good @simonchollandwe are entitled to very funny tweets on everyday situations that you have necessarily already experienced if you have children.

1. Dads at Easter love to say “From where I am, I see 3 eggs that you haven’t found yet”

2. Google Maps likes to say “In 13.5km, continue straight”

3. I’ve gotten to this point where stuff that looks 2 or 3 years old to me is actually from 2003

4. Almonds are nice when you want to eat something healthy and lose 12€

5. If you hide 48 chocolate eggs and tell your kids there are 50, you’ll have time for a nap

6. Ok it starts at 9 a.m. so we have to be there by 8:45 a.m., that means leaving at 8:10 a.m. and therefore having breakfast at… and waking up at…

Courage to all the parents who make these calculations backwards every school year.

7. First week of school: Sandwich cut into a cute shape, fresh fruit, a note

Last week of school: Garlic croutons wrapped in foil

8. I really thought I was going to be a cool and relaxed parent, and then there are my kids who leave the door open when it’s 36°C outside.

9. What if we got married and had kids, so instead of chilling on Saturday mornings we’d be freaking out over a gym outfit that wasn’t put in the dryer

10. Imagine being rich enough not to have to watch a Youtube video every time something breaks in your house.

11. I’ve never been on a cooking show but I have to say I once put a towel over my shoulder when I was making grilled cheese.

12. It’s the holidays so I woke up my 11 year old daughter at 5am. I’ve been waiting for my revenge since she was 4 years old.

13. Just because you drive 5km/h over the limit doesn’t mean you can put yourself in the left lane. There are people trying to do some real illegal stuff here actually.

14. My family needs a movie where they introduce all the characters and give us 10 minutes to watch on the internet where we know the actors from

15. The teachers and the other parents on the school trip look at me badly, as if they had never seen a parent accompanying them ordering a beer for their picnic…

If you forgot to buy a Father’s Day gift, there’s still time to catch up with a silly but funny bauble to give your dear dad. Give him a kiss from us!

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