That’s it… The holidays are over. Back to school was just a few days ago, and this Monday marked the start of the first real week of classes. It’s hard for everyone, but even more so for toddlers discovering for the first time what school is (courage, more than twenty years to go!). Finally… For the little ones AND for their parents. Often, faced with such novelty and a wave of emotion of this magnitude, we don’t really know what to do. So here is a little recap of the mistakes to avoid, so that it goes as well as possible!
1. Showing too much emotion by leaving him
We know it: seeing your child cry on the day of his return to school is really not easy. It breaks your little heart of parents, and you quickly want to start crying with him. This is normal, but unfortunately you will have to do violence to yourself and not show him too much emotion. First, because children sense stress and anxiety and react in the same way. Then, if he sees you sad, he’ll have a harder time letting you go away from him. The best thing is to take the time to say goodbye to him, without dragging out the moment of separation too much either, and to wait until you are out of his sight to exteriorize all your emotions. Courage. We know how difficult it is.
2. … And visit him during the day
You left him in tears, and inevitably, you would like to take advantage of your lunch break to go see him, make sure that everything is fine and find out if he is feeling better. It is a totally commendable will and feeling, but it must be avoided at all costs. Seeing you again in the middle of the day, the child will immediately remember the anguish and pain he felt in the morning, and his desire to go back into your arms will awaken. We take his pain patiently, and we wait until the end of his first day of school to hug him.
3. Or, conversely, leave discreetly without saying goodbye
Surely you think you are doing well by bypassing the moment of separation, but no. Ostriching is rarely a solution. In this case, simply put yourself in the child’s shoes. Imagine yourself playing, then looking up to meet the reassuring gaze of a parent, only to realize that they’ve left without telling you. Do you feel your heart tighten at the thought of having been abandoned or, in some way, betrayed? So do not bypass the moment of farewell. Take the opportunity to remind your child that you will come back to pick him up in a few hours. It’s much more reassuring.
4. Let him do his homework on his own
We agree, there’s nothing more boring than homework, for students, as for parents! Certainly, it is important to teach them to be independent, but little by little. When they discover school, compulsory work and all that ensues, children need help, advice and training to learn how to manage their time and do their homework correctly. Contrary to popular belief, even a high school student can need help, at least at the start of the school year. Over the years, workloads intensify, issues change and responsibilities grow. It is therefore important to take the time to reassure them and to find an effective rhythm. Well… It’s always good to remember a few basics! Looking forward to having children to review my Pythagorean theorem. Which side is the hypotenuse again?
5. Projecting your worries onto him
Contrary to the youngest, the parents have a perspective on schooling. They know how hard children can be on each other, regularly see in the news testimonies of harassment at school and others. So… Inevitably, when they lead the apple of their eyes to school, they are a little anxious, and hope that their offspring will be appreciated. It is important that the child is aware of what he should not accept, that he knows that he has value and that he should not let anyone tell him otherwise. On the other hand, you have to be careful not to transmit too much anxiety to him, or worse, to put too much pressure on him. Let your children be what they want to be, teach them not to worry about other people’s eyes, but don’t lock them in a bubble of stress. I know, it’s easier said than done and the balance is not easy to find, but try to work on it, even if it means making an appointment with a therapist.
6. Overdoing your free time
Here too, it is a question of balance. The error is not in making your child do activities, quite the contrary. The mistake is rather to think that the more activities he does, the better equipped he will be in life. Yes, extra-curricular activities are important, allow you to develop interests or passions, learn to socialize, teach creativity, team spirit, etc. On the other hand, it is important to give your child spaces of free time, without obligation of anything.
7. Speak ill of the teaching team in front of him
This is not a scoop: teachers and parents are not always in phase on everything. You have the right to think so, to complain to the other parents of students or your other half, but not in front of your children. It is important to let them form their own opinion without influencing them, and not to break the trust they may have in the person whose mission is to teach them a whole host of important things. The best, and despite possible disagreements, is to manage to put enough water in your wine to maintain a cordial relationship with the teaching staff. It will only be beneficial for your child!
8. Letting him miss back to school
Admittedly, the first days of class are clearly not the most important in terms of learning. However, the child must be present. This is the time when he can assimilate the different rules, understand what is expected of him, discover his teacher(s), and above all: meet his classmates. Even if it’s only a matter of a few days, it will be much easier for a student to bond with his class at the start of the school year than when introduced as a “new”.
9. Imagine that the child will adapt quickly and alone
We all wish it were that easy, but that’s not really how it is! In fact, it depends on each child. Some will be able to adapt very quickly. For others, it will take a few days or even several weeks. It can be long and difficult, as much for him as for you, but you have to hold on, remain a reassuring and understanding support for the child.
10. Dropping him off at the wrong school
Clearly the best way to create trauma in this poor little one. We take the time to read the papers carefully, to enter the correct address on the GPS, and we check that there is not written “college” instead of “kindergarten” on the front door. If in doubt, look around. If his comrades are already 1m50 tall, they have the beginnings of a mustache and acne, there is surely a ball in the soup.
11. Forgetting to look for it
ALSO WORST TRAUMA. The CLAÉ is very nice, but at 8 p.m., there are still more people to play hen-fox-viper!
12. Hiding from him until the last moment that you are his teacher
EHHHHHHH SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEE !
13. Give him a shitty first name, conducive to puns
We therefore avoid Luc, who easily gives “ass”; Alain (-Poster, -Proviste, -Térieur,…); Sarah (-Croche, -Pelle, -Courci); Aude (-bleach, -dishwashing); Emma (-Carena, -Yonnaise, -Bite), … You understood, what, we’re talking to you about the shitty jokes we all made about first names in primary school!