Politics is nice for all that is democracy, all that all that. But it’s especially nice because it’s a lot of fun parts. For example, when we made our selection of photos of the French casting for the 2022 presidential election, we had huge bars of laughter. I also laughed my ass off the neighbour’s car when I saw the magnificent twitter thread of Satourne not round this morning, proving with certified 100% truthful arguments that our candidates were cats. I’ll let you guess who the sphynx is…
1. Valerie Pécresse
A dubious cat like Valérie faced with her own latest outings.
Your relationship with this cat: he judges you when you sneeze and snubs you to talk to people who offer him fancy kibble.
2. Jean-Luc Melenchon
Let’s hope JLM doesn’t have the same tragic fate as Grumpy Cat…
Your relationship with this cat: He pisses you off when you step on his basket. And when you don’t feed him early enough. And when you pet another cat.
3. Eric Zemmour
This cat haunts my nights, I can’t sleep, get me out of here…
Your relationship with this cat: He vomits on your carpet and hides his work by lying on it so that you don’t discover his bullshit.
4. Anne Hidalgo
We can clearly see that this cat is trying to impose itself but is quite easily vikossed by the other toms in the area who are trying to get into trouble with it.
Your relationship with this cat: He scares a lot of people but deep down you know he only wants love.
5. Yannick Jadot
It’s not to disappoint you, but green cats uuuuh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them. Afterwards I may be color blind but still, I would ask Google if I were you.
Your relationship with this cat: It’s the cat you always did in your little drawings, saying that when you grew up, you wouldn’t have a cat like the others. We are still waiting.
6. Nicolas Dupont-Aignan
Never seen so much hatred in a single animal.
Your relationship with this cat: This cat trips you up in the street when you get home and sits on your chest at night to choke you in your sleep.
7. Emmanuel Macron
Sorry to have passed less than 10 meters from you sir, I am leaving the premises immediately.
Your relationship with this cat: She doesn’t exist, this cat owns your soul and your body and you’re just a puppet who serves him big kibble.
8. John Lassalle
Want to give him spouch-spouch on the nose (I wouldn’t say which of the two).
Your relationship with this cat: This cat is a bit of a bean who comes to lick your hands when he needs your attention but who in truth shits in your bed and brings you dead mice every day.
9. Marine Le Pen
Ok, now I’m more convinced.
Your relationship with this cat: This cat is a false brother who mates with the other species to form a gang and take over your home.
10. Nathalie Arthaud
Want to have that cat on my lap while drinking hot chocolate and watching Bridget Jones’s Diary.
Your relationship with this cat: This cat is way too prone to run away to hang out with his cat buddies, but when he comes back, you know he’s going to give you lots of love for not abandoning him.
11. Fabien Roussel
I don’t know if I find this cat terribly cute or terribly terrorizing. You’ll tell me what you think about it.
Your relationship with this cat: This cat has 15 minutes of madness every 15 minutes. He bites into your mound of butter and frequently bangs his head against your couch for speeding. But he makes you laugh.
12. Philippe Poutou
Ok, chances are I’ll find out who this cat belongs to and kidnap it to keep it with me for life.
Your relationship with this cat: This cat is your child and you would rather separate yourself from your whole family than abandon it. And you’re right.