You want to annoy someone but you don’t want it to go too far or to backfire on the particular person by degenerating? So stop immediately cutting the brakes of his bike and read these few valuable tips that we found on a Reddit forum and to which we added our own homemade advice. Because I’m very good at pissing people off and I’m going to distill some of my wisdom and my knowledge to you.
1. Correct people when they say your name when they say it right
Also works with the name of a city, movie, music or anything else. When you look so serious correcting them, they’ll come to think that there really is something they’re mispronouncing and you can see their soul dying in their eyes.
2. Say hello to someone you don’t know while driving
Works even better with pedestrians when you’re at a red light, because after that you’ll disappear forever and they’ll be left with a question that will haunt them for life, who was that person who was greeting them so enthusiastically while they were crossing the street. Some will never recover.
3. Comment on a group photo on the networks by complimenting a few people
For example, take a group photo of four of your friends, comment “you are all three beautiful” without naming who you are talking about. You probably won’t see it, but inside they’ll all try to figure out who was ugly in that damn picture and you’ll cause discord in their gang.
4. Connect an additional wireless mouse to a colleague’s computer
You obviously leave his mouse plugged in, you just add a second one that you keep preciously. Move the cursor from time to time and delight from your workstation in this magnificent scene where incomprehension rhymes with anger and tears.
5. Shake hands with people from left to right
Not top to bottom, only left to right. You will then see the last relics of the innocence of their childhood die in their eyes. And that is beautiful.
6. Hand someone a random item and walk away without saying a word when they pick it up
A particularly enigmatic move that should obsess the person throughout their life and who will probably still ask themselves the question on their deathbed “but what did this person mean to me by handing me this golf ball before disappearing? »
7. Help people who ask you for information on the street, but with a really incomprehensible accent
A good technique is to take a country accent by literally stuffing out all the words while giving the right direction information as requested, because it’s not nice to lie. Works very well with tourists who speak a little French and want to tell each other.
8. Move an ordinary object to another room during a party
It sucks, but it works. Are you invited to a party at a friend’s apartment and there is a small plant, a scented candle or a vinyl collection in the living room? Throw it all in the bedroom discreetly. He’ll call you crying the next day saying his place is haunted and you’ll know you were good.
9. Pretend to pass over an invisible obstacle while passing in front of a car at a red light
When you cross a pedestrian crossing and a car is stopped a little too close to it, pretend to lift your foot very high as if you were avoiding something on the road, it is very likely that the driver will have to get out to check it out and realize there was nothing and you’ll have screwed up his day.
10. Lower your voice gradually during a discussion, wait for the person to come closer and speak normally again
The goal is to do it discreetly enough and over the length, that the person does not feel the trick coming. Once she’s close enough, repeat a sentence with the normal volume but don’t yell, unless you’re really a hateful person, it’s not done.
11. Hide an old TV remote control or DVD player that no longer serves your parents
You necessarily have an old remote control that no longer serves any purpose at home and rather than throwing it away you would do well to put it in the living room of your parents, grandparents or at a friend’s house. The goal is to cause misunderstanding in the people you trap and they will search for hours what this damn remote is for.
12. After you’ve complimented someone, add “not mean to be mean” and look at your artwork
You will see their faces go through several strange emotions, from pride (due to the compliment) to surprise and then questioning. You can let them hang around for as long as you want or just shoot you after this sentence.