Top 12 best answers to scam messages

Scams suck, and no one will be able to say otherwise, except, ultimately, the scammers themselves. That’s why, in addition to learning how to avoid scams, we should all learn how to piss off scammers by telling them funny things to waste their time. Here are some examples of very tasty answers to these fdp assholes of scammers. Sorry, I got a little carried away.

1. It’s getting cold

“Hello, do you own 18339 rue Sylvan? By any chance, would you consider selling this property? Melissa »

“You wouldn’t want it. My mother killed my father in the living room. No matter how hard I scrub, I can’t get the blood out of the carpet, you know? »

2. Switch fear sides

“Hello, my friend, how are you so far? »

_ I’m almost done but there is a LOT of blood. You need to tell Carlos to send another box of garbage bags and a bone saw. The jigsaw broke about an hour ago.

_ ??? I think I got the wrong number, hope you don’t mind”

_ If you want this guy gone, I NEED A FUCKING BONE SAW”

3. Caught in his own trap

“_ Excuse me, my name is Stephanie. Is that Mr. Conrad’s phone number?

_ Oui

_ Oh, I’m sorry, I thought it was my business partner’s number. Maybe my assistant got it wrong. I’m sorry if I disturbed you!

_ No Steph, it’s me don’t worry, you have the right number

_ Thank you, you are a really nice person! My assistant will take care of it! Delighted to meet you. Where are you from ?

_ I am your business partner, you should know the answer to this silly question

_ Kiss my ass

_ Ahahah that was unexpected. What a twist. »

4. Everyone has their own specialty

“I am Hot Girl. I love making love. My favorite position (doggy style). Contact me on my personal link: »

“I am Hot Boy. I love pizza. My favorite taste (pepperoni). Contact me on my personal link: »

5. An exchange of knowledge

“Hello, have you ever heard of trading? Or do you have investment experience? »

_ Well I have a question for you too

_ Ok

_ Have you ever heard of the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

_ What are you talking about ?

_ I suspected not. This is not a story the Jedi would tell you. He’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and wise that he could use the Force to influence midichlorians to create life… He had such knowledge of the dark side that he could even protect those who held him. heart of death. The dark side of…”

6. Hard to make a bot listen to reason

“If I was a robot, how could I send you videos and photos? lol

_ Robot.

_ If I were a robot, how could I send you videos and photos? lol

_ Robot.

_ If I were a robot, how could I send you videos and photos? lol

_ Robot.

_ If I were a robot, how could I send you videos and photos? lol

_ Robot.

… »

7. The Scam Community

“Hello Vetteo, how are you?

_Wrong number

_ I’m so sorry, I entered the wrong phone number, I hope I didn’t disturb you.

_ Carefree

_ Thank you for your understanding, you are a very nice person, meeting is fate, my name is Unity, nice to meet you, what should I call you?

_ In the East I am known as Sauron, but in the West my friends call me Annatar

_ Hi Annatar, have a nice weekend”

8. Oops

“Your order will be delivered by DHL tomorrow between 11:26 a.m. and 2:26 p.m. Follow his journey on this link: »

“Hey, little advice! You should use a link that doesn’t have the word “scam” in it.

9. They might make an effort to look serious anyway.

*Group chat*

“Free message: Your bills are paid for March. Thank you, there is a small gift for you on this link:

_ You just tried to scam 20 people at once?

_ STOP »

10. Don’t be offended Nora

“Hello, I’m Nora

_ Hello Nora, how can I help you?

_ I need someone to take care of my dog. What city and neighborhood do you live in?

_ My city is literally listed on the Leboncoin ad. Can’t read?

_ Non

_ I live in your ass, you take a left, on rue Arnaque in the city of Fraud, near the Find yourself-a-real-work district.

_ Kiss my ass. »

11. The Space Scam

” Where do you live ?

_ Cassiopeia

_ Oh cool, I live 15 minutes from your place. Can I see what you look like?

_ Are you an astronaut? I gave you a location 2,300,000,000,000,000,000,000 km from Earth. If you can do this trip in 15 minutes, you gotta share your secret, man. »

12. Sexyyyy

*Photo of naked woman*

*Picture of trebuchet*

_ Very sexy

_ Yes, the trebuchet is the sexiest siege weapon »

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