Changing the diaper of the mustard is not always a cakewalk. I would even say that it is never a cakewalk. I would even say even more that parents who like to change their baby’s diaper are downright weird. But yet you have to go through it to prevent the divine child from drowning in his poo. In order to escape this desperate obligation, we deliver our best subterfuges to you.
- 1 1. Having vagal discomfort while changing the diaper
- 2 2. Put the first layers inside out
- 3 3. Hire someone full-time just to do it for you
- 4 4. Place the child with a nanny until the age of three
- 5 5. Make the baby cry
- 6 6. Try the ostrich strategy
- 7 7. Blackmailing the baby: if he wants his diaper changed, you will have to change yours first
- 8 8. Teach him how to do in the toilet
- 9 9. Transfer yourself to another country on your own the day after giving birth
- 10 10. Not recognizing it at birth
1. Having vagal discomfort while changing the diaper
And to think that it was a stroke and that changing a diaper is obviously super dangerous for you, you must have developed a kind of very rare allergy, an orphan disease that physically prevents you from changing diapers.
2. Put the first layers inside out
And have your technical incapacity recognized by a sworn bailiff as well as a social worker who can also testify to the danger to which the child is exposed when you undertake this necessary activity.
3. Hire someone full-time just to do it for you
Because if neither the father, nor the mother, nor the stepfather, nor the stepmother, nor the grandmother, nor the grandfather, nor the uncle, nor the aunt, nor the brother, nor the sister, neither the neighbour, nor the neighbor, nor the employer agrees to change the animal’s nappies, everyone is going to have to club together for someone to take care of it.
4. Place the child with a nanny until the age of three
Well, you’ll still have to think about giving news from time to time, or even going to visit him. Then after you will only have to recover it when it is definitely clean. It will inevitably improve your future reports.
5. Make the baby cry
If the baby is crying, he’s in the rejection phase and doesn’t accept you as the official diaper changer. In short, after a while, if this child has to start his life with constraints, it’s necessarily bad. We must respect his choice and his choice is a refusal.
6. Try the ostrich strategy
If it is, if you do nothing and let things happen by themselves, the problem will certainly solve itself.
7. Blackmailing the baby: if he wants his diaper changed, you will have to change yours first
Yes, yes he is small and he can’t speak yet but we know very well that he thinks about it no less. So it’s fine to whine when it suits him, but we know very well deep down that he understands very well what we’re talking about.
8. Teach him how to do in the toilet
After all, it’s like cats, it must be possible to educate him in that way. At first you hang a diaper on the toilet seat so that he understands that pee and poop are in it, and then he should go there instinctively.
9. Transfer yourself to another country on your own the day after giving birth
And strangely it is a country that does not tolerate babies under three years old. It sucks but hey, you can’t say no to a transfer, it’s still important professionally.
10. Not recognizing it at birth
It’s a bit radical as a method but it has the merit of being very effective.
Tag your baby on his wall so that he understands the message and asks for useful birth gifts, like a self-cleaning diaper (it must exist). Or you can take a washable diaper and throw it in the washing machine very quickly.
Otherwise this top was freely inspired by this work entered from this work that you will soon find in La Pléiade: