At the risk of alienating half of my dear readers, I have decided today to assume my tastes and say it loud and clear: cinnamon is shit, and we should even ban it like coriander. . You are going to tell me that I am a little excessive but I assure you that I have good arguments to support my point which we will see right away.
1. First: it’s disgusting
Well, we’re going to put our feet in the grease directly without going through four mornings (I may be mixing up a few expressions) but cinnamon is objectively a disgusting spice. The taste is awful, often close to “the taste that shit juice should have” as old Mesopotamian sages said.
2. It takes the taste out of everything else
You put a very small pinch of cinnamon in a gigantic tank of 6000 liters of water and that’s it, it’s undrinkable for life. The taste is way too strong and disgusting, and I’m not even talking about the vat you’ll be forced to melt down and reforge. And again, there will always be a taste.
3. It’s just bark
How many times in your life have you passed by a tree saying to yourself, “Hey, I’m going to gnaw the bark of this old oak tree, it will make me happy and feed me”? Not once. Never. Or else you are dumb. Yet when you are offered a little cinnamon which is literally cinnamon bark, do you say yes? Even rodents do not want it when the bark represents 99% of their diet.
4. The Egyptians used it to embalm the dead
The Egyptians used cinnamon in the embalming process, mixed with other products of course. But the next time you serve that shit up at the table, you might as well ask your guests, “Who wants to drink embalming fluid?” at least you will be more honest.
5. The cinnamon you eat is poisonous anyway.
Yeah because usually you don’t even eat real cinnamon but cassia. Both contain coumarin which can cause you liver damage if you eat a lot of them. The thing is, cassia contains 63 times more couramin than cinnamon, so you’re probably going to pass the gun left there right away because of that. It’s stupid.
6. It’s mainly used in the kitchen to hide a failed dish or dessert
The people who throw the dose of cinnamon into their desserts are those who know in advance that they are big brains in the kitchen and that their dish will be disgusting. This is their only desperate solution to hide the infamous taste of their cake and the interstellar void of their existence paved with failures.
7. People who love cinnamon are the same people who wear fur.
Generally they have also done Latin option in college, have business cards, rattan trivets and political ideas close to xenophobic nihilism (a rather scary current although relatively diffuse). You really have to have no taste to enjoy eating this food of infamy.
8. Little Jesus’ cross was made of cinnamon
Yeah, but that if you had read the entire Bible and not just the passage that says you have the right to masturbate on full moon nights, you would have learned that the cross on which this brave Jesus was crucified was sewn in cinnamon wood (yes yes, sewn squarely, a work of goldsmith for once), hence its nickname of devil’s tree.
9. Looks like old dried shit
Walk two minutes in a square and find the place where the dogs relieve themselves, you should quickly come across things that look like two drops of water to those famous cinnamon sticks that you love so much. You twisted.
10. The Latin name is the name of a super pissed off old demon
In the book of shadows, Cinnamomum is the name of a super evil demon who, according to premonitions, will come to Earth to cover it with shit when he has eaten enough cinnamon to have a “devil’s shit we’ll all drown in” (in French in the original text).