We have all heard lately of the movement calling for a boycott of the next FIFA World Cup in Qatar for many valid and legitimate reasons: respect for human rights, the treatment reserved for workers on site to build the stadiums, ecology… But there are also plenty of objective reasons, and more trivial ones of course, that push us to turn off our TV.
1. To not see Benjamin Pavard right back
It’s been going on for 5 years. We had 4 years since 2018 to prepare and we did not know how to do it and find someone else, a real professional side. And that, no one has the right to suffer that a second time.
2. To avoid risking pneumonia by jumping into a fountain in December if we win
Let’s say we win. It’s very very hypothetical, but the World Cup does take place in Qatar so everything happens in life. What are you going to do to celebrate? Go to Champs ok. But usually in summer, we throw ourselves into the slightest fountain, river, puddle lying around. Can you imagine that on December 20 at -4°?
3. Because Giroud is going to crash
And that we will not support. Playing football in an air-conditioned desert why not, but without seeing lucky Olivier Giroud wander like a lost soul when Karim is not there to remind him that he is better, that’s a big no. Our patience has limits. Not Olivier, not in front of us, not after all you’ve done.
4. To support those Italian suckers
Twice in a row that they do not qualify for the World Cup these big suckers. As a tribute to all those pizzas you put on during the year, to those many buttery pasta dishes when the fridge is empty, you owe the Azzuris respect. Your TV will remain off.
5. This is the time when you normally make your Christmas gifts on the fly
And the final this year is December 18, you’ll have better things to do than watch all those football matches. If not, when will you go to Fnac to buy your gift cards in a panic?
6. Because with the curse of the outgoing champion we won’t win it, that’s for sure
It’s statistical, an outgoing champion is even often hit in the first round. So we don’t want to inflict that on ourselves. You can, if you want, pass it off as enlightened activism. While in reality it is supporterism who wants to protect his future little bruised heart.
7. Because you don’t support PSG, no you actually hate PSG.
If we boycott, we have to be logical. PSG belongs to Qatar. So boycotting the World Cup in Qatar also means not watching a PSG match either. And that suits you, you non-Parisian.
8. Because the real problem with air conditioning in stadiums is sore throats
Fly across the planet to see football matches in a country that doesn’t like it, let’s face it. But getting sore throats because the air conditioning is running on full blast in the stadiums to keep a playable temperature, no.
9. Because there are games at 11 a.m.
And two things one. Either you don’t work and you have something else to do at 11 a.m., or you work and you have something else to do at 11 a.m. like work for example. France needs your productive force. The recession will not pass by you.
10. Because you don’t like football
It’s all stupid huh, but it’s always easier to boycott something you don’t like.
Happy World Cup to you too.