We are always making fun of our dear deputies because they have a lot of advantages while being very often at the center of sordid stories, just look at the number of them who are in criminal proceedings to find out. However, we must not generalize, and deputies are like cops and hunters, there are goods. Not many, but there are. So we’re going to try to restore the image of this profession by focusing today on the ugly aspects of their work, and I can tell you that there are some.
1. We are at the center of investigations because the position gives us significant visibility
Take any boss who would embezzle money in his discreet little business, no one would try to dig up his files, but the moment you are an MP the journalists rush at you like hungry dogs looking for a bone to gnaw . Well what’s boring is that these people generally do their job well and they find the bone in question when there is one, but it is this visibility that pushes them to do it and fuck your weekend at Touquet by revealing to the world that you sexually assaulted your former assistant.
2. We really work a lot
Recently several deputies sounded the alarm by saying that frankly they were working too hard. Some have complained about the fact that with their position of deputy they could no longer hold their position as mayor in their constituency or their second / third job. It’s true that it’s stupid, because in France there are a lot of people who don’t have a job and they can combine several, even if it means not doing any of them in the right way for lack of time. . Damned accumulation of mandates and salaries, it fucks you in without warning.
3. We must be absolutely irreproachable
The slightest little thing, not even serious like a good old embezzlement of money, can come back to you without warning. So you have to be unassailable, irreproachable in every way, not grope the secretary, not take advantage of your position to haggle favors, not embezzle funds, not buy clothes with public money… Super in In fact, what do we work for if we no longer have the right to all these illegal advantages??!
4. In the end the pay is not so great
Frankly, the base salary of a deputy is 7,142.75 euros gross, or 5,357.34 euros net. Well it’s not bad, but it’s not phew from home phew either. Fortunately, that’s why we invented the compensation representative of mandate expenses to cover miscellaneous expenses, and that amounts to 5,300 euros gross per month, non-taxable. But even with that it’s complicated to have a good vacation or to eat a lobster worthy of the name, except in a good old clandestine diner.
5. We don’t even have to go to work
How do you want to find the nerve to get up in the morning when you’re not even scolded when you don’t show up for work? Without messing around, it’s hard because, as the hemicycle reveals, which is often three-quarters empty in the evening, there is not really any fallout following an absence. Try to motivate yourself to go to work after that, we’ll talk about it again, even despite all the tricks put in place to bring the deputies to the assembly.
6. We have to give work to our relatives and friends who beg like scavengers
When you’re a deputy, most of your relatives wake up with lots of requests, mainly for work. That’s why you often have to hire your family as parliamentary assistants (in return for a comfortable salary) and why you have to satisfy everyone only to be yelled at by journalists because supposedly €3,500 per months to open two professional emails it was not justified and that we are asked to return the money.
7. Since we are almost never convicted, cheating loses its flavor
Since the beginning of the year, there have been more deputies in the hemicycle concerned in legal cases than series for teens on the platform Netflix, that is to say really very very much. However, once you count the number of them to have been sentenced, there are not even enough people to have a raclette party. So what’s the point in love of risk when there’s none? The day when our deputies will no longer even want to cheat will not have to ask where it comes from.
8. You can even appreciate life’s little pleasures more.
Driving, cooking, cleaning your apartment, paying your rent… All that is a thing of the past because the private drivers, restaurant cooks and cleaning staff in the hotels where you stay take care of everything, not to mention the almost non-existent rent thanks to the official apartments or rental assistance specially provided for MEPs. It’s still rather sad to miss all that.
9. When you retire, you often find a great job without looking, no challenge
Even when you end up getting drunk from this grueling job and want to find a bit of a challenge, you finally find yourself being offered important positions from all sides without having to look. Really it’s a life of assistance that you don’t want, believe me, the more it advances the less there are good reasons to be an MP.
10. When retirement comes, you receive a good sum for having worked only one term.
The icing on the cake, the height of annoyance: you have worked for a five-year term as a deputy and presto, on the day of your retirement you have a pension of €1,549 which falls every month. What is this ridiculous price? What are we supposed to do with this? There’s not even enough to pay the rent for his fucking mansion. Sorry to get carried away but here I am angry.
Nah, but at best you have to try to aim for a ministerial post, but even there there are problems. No, I think the good old days when it was worth it and where you could quietly smoke everyone out are over.