Hello friends, how are you on this beautiful Sunday in December? That’s it, here we go, it’s almost Christmas and in a few weeks we will finally stop banging all the stupid music and decorations to finally get back to the serious subjects of our society. While waiting for this blessed day of December 26, we will talk about the champions of the week, these unusual miscellaneous facts that we find every week in the darkest sections of the press.
1. New Zealand: their baby needs urgent surgery, they refuse to receive blood from a vaccinated person
Topito’s analysis: Here we are close to debility at a fairly advanced stage, because refusing a baby to receive an emergency infusion is really condemning him to pass close to death. Poor kid.
2. Her pasta takes too long to cook, she takes the brand to court for false advertising
Topito’s analysis: On the one hand, it’s really a lot, a lot of energy for not much. On the other hand… Frankly it always sucks when there is a bad cooking time written on a package.
3. During the robbery of a pizzeria, the criminals prepare a meal and eat on the spot
Topito’s analysis: You have to be a little stupid to stop in the middle of a burglary to waste time unnecessarily, you’re going to tell me, but at the same time you have the opportunity to make yourself a real pizza there… That can be understood.
4. Lorient: Firefighters free a teenage girl stuck on a baby swing
Topito’s analysis: You really have to stop wasting the firefighters’ time, there are far more important emergencies than going to help a teenager who got her ass stuck in a baby swing anyway.
5. A mayor of Maine-et-Loire issues an order to allow Santa Claus to circulate in his town
Topito’s analysis: Another of the decrees of unusual mayors, because sometimes they have a lot of humor. They also have work to do, though, maybe we need to focus on that, we’ve had to redo the roof of the village hall Daniel for 15 years.
6. Garbage collector in the morning and magnetizer in the afternoon, the bonesetter convicted of sexual assault
Topito’s analysis: Funny mix of jobs, but at the limit it could have passed if the guy in question had not been a fucking sexual aggressor. At least he’s in tune with his first job if he’s garbage.
7. Chanteloup-les-Vignes: he tries to flee after an accident with… the police
Topito’s analysis: Bad pick for that one, he probably thought he was in a movie scene and he was going to get away with it but no, one of the principles of the police is that they don’t don’t just have a car.
8. Ile-de-France: the dirty money collector assures that he delivered… pastry
Topito’s analysis: Had to try it, after all on a misunderstanding a myth can pass. Afterwards you have to succeed in justifying that you have so much money on you by simply selling chocolate éclairs and Paris-Brest.
9. Thailand: a Buddhist temple deprived of a monk after positive tests for… methamphetamine
Topito’s analysis: Well, after monks on methamphetamine, there’s no need to go all the way to Thailand to see it, there’s an abbey near my parents’ house, they’re well perched too, the guys. In the meantime, it sucks, there’s no one left to welcome customers.
10. He goes swimming with his computer, a wave ruins his installation
Topito’s analysis: We end with a video of someone horribly stupid that I advise you to watch, because sometimes we feel stupid in life and it’s good to see people more stupid than us.
And see you next week, until then don’t splurge or you’ll find yourself in next week’s champions.