Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #398

Hello my darlings, how are you? Because in the end, we meet every week for the champions of the week, but we don’t take the time to get to know each other. Personally it’s fine, I like the smell of roses and hate the taste of coriander. Now that you know everything about me (but like really everything) we’re going to embark on this crazy weekly compilation of the most stupid miscellaneous facts that we find in part thanks to the” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”> @Well Namedsomeone I love as much as Batman.

1. Vosges: dead drunk in front of the gendarmes, he claims to be an X-Men

Topito’s analysis: If in doubt, I’ll let it go personally, if there’s one thing that superhero movies have taught me, it’s that if a shady guy tells another to get out because he has powers like that often ends with explosions and super muscled guys in tank tops.

2. Her Chihuahua defecates in her mouth while she sleeps, she ends up in the hospital

Topito’s analysis: The love of animals in all its glory, we are waiting for the arguments of the dog team to defend this affront, because at least we in the cat team know that our animals don’t give a damn about us.

3. He comes to help after an earthquake, loses his glasses and gets lost in the mountains for 17 days

Topito’s analysis: Maybe we’ve just found proof that karma doesn’t exist, because if it does, it means that person has a lot, a lot to blame themselves for taking such a big return of stick after a good deed.

4. “Catch me if you can”: his license plate is not up to standard, he is arrested

Topito’s analysis: It’s a shame for two reasons: the first is that I realize too late that it’s illegal to put a personalized message on his license plate and the second is that he had very badly chosen his.

5. Quirky: She misspelled her first name for 22 years, “I only realized it when I found my birth certificate”

Topito’s analysis: I admit that for me the story took a new twist when she said “even my parents didn’t know that”. This whole story probably hides a heavy secret linked to the FBI, the secret services and the Champigny leisure base.

6. Filed S, he recharged the coffee machines of the Parisian police stations

Topito’s analysis: Neither seen nor known the guy, it took cushy machiatos with the cops without anyone suspecting a thing. The young man was in training when the policeman who had arrested him recognized him, it is an unlikely story.

7. Antwerp Zoo definitely forbids access to a visitor who is a little too close to a chimpanzee

Topito’s analysis: In fact she had sympathized with the animal for several years and the members of the zoo were worried because the chimpanzee was spending too much time with her and not enough with his peers, which the lady did not want to hear. I’ll summarize the story for you, I’m nice.

8. Fight and Japanese sword: fast food customers come to blows for… free nuggets

Topito’s analysis: It’s true that the promise of free nuggets can make people’s heads spin, it’s even because of this that the First World War started when Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed in a brawl outside a KFC in Sarajevo .

9. England’s ‘most jealous wife’ uses her allowance to buy three XBOXes so her husband won’t leave the house

Topito’s analysis: Well, I can try to understand why her jealousy pushes her to want to keep her boyfriend at home even if it’s super toxic, I can understand that she comes to think that a console will make him stay even if it’s very stupid, but damn why three XBOX?? What the fuck is he going to do with the same console three times??

10. Toulouse: He shows his buttocks to the police… and his pants prevent him from running away

Topito’s analysis: How do you want us to react to that? Frankly it’s not even possible, it’s much too stupid for me to find a valve on it. So I leave you with an admission of failure.

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