Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #397

Hey geeks, how are you doing on this cold, gray Sunday? We’re not doing too badly, just want to get under the plaid, have a good hot chocolate and read the champions of the week, these unusual miscellaneous facts that we discover in part thanks to this brave @Well Named that we love without knowing him (I hope he’s a good guy).

1. Strange: A truck full of vibrators and lube overturned on a highway in the United States

Topito’s analysis: There’s a theme, I can tell you it must have been fun on the highway with the Americans that night. Better traffic jam.

2. The man who threw himself on the coffin of Elizabeth II thinks that “the queen is not dead”

Topito’s analysis: Maybe he had information we didn’t have, or maybe he was just somewhere else. Good from there to jump on the coffin it was a little exaggerated.

3. Forgotten by La Poste, she is fired 18 years after being declared unfit

Topito’s analysis: They really didn’t respect anything. Forgetting parcels I don’t say, forgetting to open at the right time I don’t say either, but forgetting someone for 18 years really doesn’t have to be careful.

4. “But I’m not Lady Gaga!” : a bodyguard of the singer mistakenly protects a drag-queen

Topito’s analysis: A man both overzealous and not focused enough on his job, which is more or less contradictory. Good for his defense the drag queen in question was disguised as Lady Gaga so if the disguise was well done we can understand that in the heat of the moment he was confused.

5. Marseille: the wind festival canceled this Saturday because of the… too strong wind

Topito’s analysis: So… How do we begin to process this information? It’s the wind party and it was windy, so it’s a bit stupid to cancel, don’t you think? I really want to talk to the people in charge of the event.

6. The state is selling Playstation 5s confiscated by the courts

Topito’s analysis: It’s starting to become anything this story of shortage: the specialized stores still do not have stock two years after the release of the console but the French state can start selling it at retail like that? Unlikely.

7. “Drunk bikes are dangerous too”: how the boss of hunters always dodges the debate

Topito’s analysis: He really is the best, if he hadn’t been boss of the hunters he would have made an admirable lawyer with such perfect arguments. I think I’m starting to like him, he got me to wear out that jerk.

? A specialist in controversial outings, the boss of the hunters has dodged the debate on the consumption of alcohol by those who engage in this activity. The argument: “The drunk bike is dangerous too.”

Posted by Marianne on Friday, September 16, 2022

8. The scammer saves an elderly person with a stroke before robbing his apartment

Topito’s analysis: It’s not because he changes his stripes that a tiger becomes a shark (I confess that I know there is an expression but I completely forgot what it was). Anyway, the guy hasn’t forgotten why he came to the base.

A man in his thirties, who had robbed an apartment after saving his tenant suffering from a stroke, appeared in corrections on Friday, September 16.

Posted by Capital on Saturday, September 17, 2022

9. He falls from his hammock and abandons the GR20 after 300 meters

Topito’s analysis: It’s the best hiking story I’ve ever read in my life, and I subscribe to rando hebdo so I can tell you that I am knowledgeable in the field. In any case, he finished in the newspaper, and that’s borderline better than finishing the GR.

10. Did Hans Niemann use connected anal beads to beat Magnus Carlsen at chess?

Topito’s analysis: So if this story turns out to be true I’m seriously going to have to start getting into chess because it sounds like a scenario of political betrayal and stratagem like I like to see in the series.

And I tell you next week, until then don’t forget to check your car’s engine oil level, you’ve been putting it off for far too long.

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