Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #387

Hi bunch of merry men. This week, it’s me who presents the champions of the week since Timbo left for an intensive course to learn how to put on a duvet cover. You already know the concept but I’ll give it to you again anyway: you’re going to see totally wacky press headlines that will tell you about absolutely crazy individuals who will drive you completely crazy, and all that we found with the precious help of Instagram.com/ajustetitre/”>Well Named. Ready to laugh at not remembering your own passport number? So let’s go.

1. A tourist falls into the crater of Vesuvius while trying to take a selfie

Topito’s Analysis : We cannot repeat it enough: selfies are dangerous. Especially when taken by slightly dumb people.

2. An owner assigns his tenant for unpaid rent, he ends up sentenced for having rented a 4m²

Topito’s Analysis : 4m² is about enough to put a bed and… well, that’s all in fact. We should maybe condemn him to live 4-5 years in his rotten apartment after all.

3. A barge hits a pedestrian on the Canal du Midi

Topito’s Analysis : I wouldn’t like to be the guy who had to fill in the report and draw the little diagrams to explain the situation.

4. Escorted by gendarmes towards the maternity ward, the dad asks them to choose the baby’s first name

Topito’s Analysis : That’s a shot to finish with kids called Rambo and Terminator, enough to end up in the list of the worst first names in France. Personally, I wouldn’t trust it.

? The gendarmes checked a man who was driving too fast. Noting that his wife was pregnant, the soldiers accompanied them to the Bergerac hospital.

Posted by SudOuest.fr on Thursday, July 7, 2022

5. She saves her boyfriend’s life by giving him a kidney, he cheats on her

Topito’s Analysis : Remember this story the day you think your ex was the worst ex ever. There is always worse. It’s always good to know that.

6. A Swedish brand sells a vegan burger with “human meat” flavor

Topito’s Analysis : Ok but, just to know, how did they check that their stuff really tasted like human meat? That’s still the weirdest thing in this story.

7. UFC: a fighter wants to face… Rafael Nadal

Topito’s Analysis : I suggest that they compete on neutral ground, like a game of petanque or beer pong. There will be a match.

8. She ends up in a wheelchair for holding back her farts in front of her boyfriend.

Topito’s Analysis : Let’s say it once and for all: you have to normalize farting in front of others. It will save you from having to leave your date in the early morning because your belly hurts.

9. Two Belgian tourists spend the night in a tree to escape a wild boar

Topito’s Analysis : After dozens of Asterix albums where wild boars were shot before each banquet, they finally got their revenge on the Belgians and that’s a pleasure.

10. Bathers leave their belongings in the car to avoid a theft on the beach, they get the key stolen

Topito’s Analysis : I would like to remind you that the key to my heart has still not been stolen and that it is quietly waiting for you on the bonnet of my Fiat Punto Cabriolet.

Come on, have a nice Sunday and while waiting for next week, I recommend the teubés of the week, it’s still so funny.

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