When you’re an editor at Topito you have several illnesses like making corny puns, trying to make prouts with your forearm and writing “OU KOUA” instead of “ou quoi”. However, these problems inherent in our profession are lesser compared to the real diseases which concern certain professions and which do not look funny at all.
1. Leptospirosis for all people who work in green spaces
Imagine that there are 600 cases each year in France. This bacterial disease affects all people who work in green spaces or in contact with mud or dirty water or even wild or domestic animals. Is it wide? Yes. But basically, we think of gardeners, divers, vets, or even slaughterhouse staff.
2. The “loss of figure” for gymnasts
When we jump everywhere in height and no matter how, it happens that our body goes into a lollipop. It’s called a loss of figure. It happened in particular to the acrobat Simone Biles but this phenomenon is also known to golfers. Which is surprising since they do a lot less somersaults.
3. Baker’s farinosis
As the name suggests, farinose has something to do with flour. An ingredient that bakers are used to having in large quantities in the conk. Unfortunately, inhaling these dust particles can lead to this asthma-like lung infection.
4. Baker’s tooth decay
Not that pastry chefs and confectioners are big foodies, but the fact that they are always in contact with sugar multiplies by 5 the need to lay crowns in this profession and we are not talking about galettes des rois.
5. Lung and bladder cancer in hairdressers
You’ll think twice about asking for a blonde balayage or dyeing your hair neon green at the hairdresser. Apart from screwing up your hair (which we don’t give a damn about) you are mainly screwing up the lungs of the person who applies these ultra toxic products to your hair. There are indeed skin and respiratory problems in the profession which can lead in the worst case to lung and bladder cancer (especially for men who have handled brilliantine).
6. Carpal tunnel syndrome
The carpal tunnel is not at all the kind of channel in which we go swimming. This tunnel which crosses the anterior face of the wrist and globally touches the first three fingers of the hand can become inflamed in certain professions. It’s quite broad since we think of all those who use their little mimines, therefore hairdressers, gardeners, painters, workers, musicians, dressmakers and of course the manufacturers of door handles etc.
7. Cancers globally for MANY professions
Difficult to go into detail but you can imagine, from the moment you breathe dirty stuff (like asbestos, dust, household products) you are naturally more exposed to certain cancers. Carpenters suffer from a lot of cancers of the nasal cavities from breathing in wood dust, but the same is true for metallurgy or agriculture when you come into contact with pesticides. Awesome no? No.
8. Waiter’s Tendinitis
The servers, in addition to being idiots, also have tendonitis problems from taking eight years to come and serve us and explain to us that they don’t take the menu below 30 euros.
9. The syndrome of abusive Anglicism for communications managers
You start saying words like “challenge”, “branding”, “rebranding de challenge” or “challenging the rebrand”, look no further. This is the obvious proof that you work in a communication agency and that you have lost your Latin. Drown your sorrows in a bubble tea before having a poke bowl indigestion and you’ll be fine.
10. The near-death risk for the lava skydiving community
Indeed, we do not talk enough about this strange illness from which extreme acrobats suffer who have taken the bad habit of falling without a parachute above a volcano. 0 survivors for the moment but a very nice last trip.